Netizens answer: Why is “I have a boyfriend” more acceptable than “I am not interested”?

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It is often noticed that guys only back off when a girl they are asking out claims she is in a relationship than when she says she is not interested. They feel they can continue to pester her as long as she is single. This level of entitlement is cringe worthy because they are “too stubborn” to accept the fact that “I am not interested” is not enough reason to not want them. This makes no sense.

Sampling public opinion on Twitter, the following are the comments gotten:

“Most guys believe in tenacity and that there might be a change of mind. “I have a boyfriend or suitor” is more acceptable.


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“Girls have built this reputation of meaning the opposite of what they say when it comes to matters of the heart. So when y’all say “I’m not interested” The guy hears “try harder”, “change your approach”, “I want to see consistency”, “prove how badly you want me”.

“Coz we’re all a little self-involved that we don’t want to believe that someone wouldn’t be interested in us”

“Well, it varies but guys believe they can still win the heart of a lady who claims she’s not interested easily to the one with a boyfriend… one of the hardest things to do is convince a lady in love, mehn their no is no”

“If you’re not interested, you can change your mind anytime. Having a boyfriend puts guys off as most of us won’t like to disturb someone’s babe”

“If she tells me I have a boyfriend or not interested I don’t force”

“If the parking space is occupied…u drive away and If parking space is free…you will want to park your car there”

I believe that women do not owe men explanations for not being interested. You must not have a boyfriend before you reject a toaster; you can just not be interested. Men should learn not to insist because they think the only reason they can back off is if the girl is in a relationship.

Women suffer enough from waiting to pick from the men who ask them out because society has made it the man’s duty to approach the woman. It is rare to see women approaching a man they are attracted to. Men have the luxury to approach any girl they are interested in but it is not the same for women. This is enough torture – enough reason to show that “I am not interested and I must not like you because you like me”.

I believe women have the right to say no even without giving explanations. It goes further to prove that men think women cannot make decisions for themselves and only the image of a boyfriend will scare them off. I don’t need to have a boyfriend to not want you. You are just not my spec!

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